Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
