I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i was born a porn star she said
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
