im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
