I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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