The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
