So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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