Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Life is so much better after having sex.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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