So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
