this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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