i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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