Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
