I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
