I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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