I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
