thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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