I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
