ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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