we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Dick very happy bro
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
