Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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