I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
