I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
