Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
