Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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