nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
