well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
