My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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