I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I smell like Dick and happiness
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