Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
