I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Help. Why am I so naked?
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