By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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