Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Blood and glitter go together right?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
i believe in u and ur pee
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