On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
