is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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