i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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