i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
