Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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