Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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