I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
