dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
