she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Randomize
