It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
