yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My room smells like vodka and shame
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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