isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
