remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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