How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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