HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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