I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
