I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
