how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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