You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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